And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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