She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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