He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
