She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
As shirtless as possible
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
