sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
