She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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