Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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