There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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