You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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