Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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