im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
