I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
