They should really pass out barf bags in church
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
