I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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