Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
