Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
