everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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