His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
