You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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