Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
