how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
