Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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