just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
