i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
