Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
