is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
