and you said cock pushups were impossible
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
