Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
