I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
