Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
