And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
