The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
