You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
