do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
