Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
