Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
