Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
