yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
