Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was born a porn star she said
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
