Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
