she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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