I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
