and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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