yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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