There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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