haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
