ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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