sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
