i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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