I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
